Actually - i must confess - Daniel and I had a huge fight yesterday (due to my not smoking - i just lost the plot in the afternoon - obviously the nicotine wasn't completely gone !! :( ) I was a sobbing mess - i slipped up - i had a couple of smokes - it felt like shit an di felt even more shit because i thought i had it so in control - anyway - i've been torturing myself about it all night - but i know it was the hugest mistake ever and i know there won't be any more. i should of had something to back me up in that instance but i didn't and just lost it. Bwahhhh how do you go from being ontop of the world at 8am to a blubbering mess by 2 pm. All i can say is nicotine is some serious shit - if that's the effect it has on your body.
On a brighter note - it's a beautiful day, hardly any wind so im taking myself fishing and snorkelling - clean fresh air - i know my confession would have just rocked you guys (r & a) its shaken me up heaps, but im orright, i've dusted myself off and am back up and running, no more 'slip ups' - i wasn't going to tell you's but, thought if i did, then it would force me to stay back on track after i got an ass kicking from you both.
You don't need to tell me how incredibly stupid it was because I KNOW, sometimes you can only take so much before you crack though....and it was the worsed it's ever been before i broke....
anyway done.... ive confessed, im back on track and am off to have some fun!
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4 comments:
Ms Fit . . . . I feel your frustration and pain. *hugs*
It sounds to me like you've given yourself a fair back lashing for your recent challenge which I might add you still got over.
You identified the situation, took responsibility for it, leg go and finally moved on. Now all you need to do is recall this lesson you've learnt next time a challenge comes your way.
In my opinion job well done! You're trying and that's all anyone can ask of you. You know you can beat this, I know you can beat this. Have faith in yourself, I do!
Lia
:-)
Hi Kitty Kat,
I always thought I was going to give you a right ass-whoopin’ if you slipped up, but then I read your post and my heart melted because you seems to have done a pretty good job of that yourself!! Just don’t do it again. There is no point going green and eating without all the toxins and poisons if you are going to load up your body with the most toxic and poisonous of all.
I wish you had been at Yunderup with me. My brother-in-law’s friend had his Dad drop him off, but we didn’t get to meet his Dad as he was attached to the oxygen pump he has to carry everywhere with him due to his emphysema. I think one of the most shocking things was Crocket telling us that his Dad takes a few puffs of the oxygen, then a few puffs of the cigarette. This is not the worst thing though… even after telling us what his Dad goes through, Crocket lights up his own cigarette!!
I have no idea why we as humans feel 10 foot tall and bullet-proof. Even with the results of smoking right there in front of him and his Dad on his last legs due to the damage cigarettes have done to his body, Crocket still seems to think that it won’t happen to him, that it couldn’t happen to him. That somehow he is different to his father and that he will be able to smoke and get away with it.
Look at that Tasmanian politician that had to resign (his name escapes me now) because he had found out he had lung cancer from smoking and was given a few months to live. He went on the news and told everyone that he felt like the biggest idiot there was. But he took his chances, and they blew up in his face.
If you are going to smoke and take the chance that maybe, just maybe, somehow you are going to be lucky enough not to get anything from it, then you might as well go get a gun, put a bullet in it and play Russian Roulette!! Sounds like the same deal to me :)
I am going to send you an email called “Powerful Hints to Stop Smoking.” I was going to copy it in here, but it would have made it a heck of a long comment… LOL!! You might want to put this up on your blog as a post though to help others who might be trying to stop.
I am believing in you that you can do this, counting on you to do this Kat and cheering you all the way. Do not let me, or anyone else that cares about you as much as I do down… deal???
Love Rae xxx
It happened and you've moved on sweetie - that's the important thing, the moving on. I think you've ounished yourself enough and it's hard when you're feeling that terrible not to go back to old habits, especially something that you would do so automatically in a stressful situation i.e just light up a ciggie.
I have to confess that I've been smoking since Christmas and today is my first day of cutting out. I'd been quietly reading your blog and building up the resolve to knock them on the head - like Rae said, what's the point in being all clean and green if you're polluting yourself and the environment with some very toxic chemicals?
Anyway - just so that you know, you're not struggling alone and at least you have a few days head start on me :)
Sorry I didn't 'fess up sooner but I was feeling like such a tool. But I'll feel like an even bigger one if I end up with lung cancer - given that nearly every person in my family has cancer there'd be a fairly good chance too.
I'm thinking of you and cheering you on, and I know it's hard when your loved ones are still chuffing away which is probably why you were feeling so highly strung in the first place - you can do it, we both can!
Love ya x
i am so moved and overwhelmed by the support shown from all of tyou, thank you so much girls. You know what, it is so good having people to be accountable too... the sheer embarrasment of a relapse i think is the only thing keeping me on the straight and narrow!
THANKYOU
P.S Rae DEAL!
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