mad cow

well i've finally arrived at dans parents farm...we've spent two entire days going through all of our possessions sorting stuff out for a garage sale, basically we can barely keep anything as we have no where to store it, hopefully we make a bucket load of cash because we want to but an LCD flat screen for our van......

anyway, this farm is ferral, gross, yukky, off it...! we've both got shocking hayfever - on a positive note the nice country air and serenity is worth it. No broadband here im using a dial up connection which is running painfully slow at 24k Grrrr i know! i can barely check my e-mails as its taking 5 mins to navigate between pages, i've been at it for an hour almost and really don't have much to show for it lol...... bring on broadband!!

So, no more blogging for this little one until Thurs when i get to my mums... this computer will push me over the edge if i try and get back on it lol.

Anyway, all is good, haven't been following program at all for the last week but am getting back on track with diet today, feelin like a bloated cow with a seriously bad fluid retention problem, am going to see if i can get some vitamin tabs to HELP...coz its just not funny anymore!

How things have changed...

Happy-ish to Happy Happy

I am definatly a morning person. I wake at 6am and am in bed by 11:30pm - so whats that? - 6.5 hours sleep. Im good at 6.5hours - sometimes at about 3pm I have a 15min powernap - shit those things immediately make me feel a million times better. Today I slept till 7am and Im a bit puffy in the eyes - but I had to wake a couple of times in the night to call the cops about some really drunk idiots in the street yelling at eachother - hate that.

I had a good look at myself in the morror last night - and I am feeling more toned. My 'handles' arent as big - my thighs have trimmed down and my tummy is flatter. I still have a while to go until I am 'happy happy' - but at the moment I am 'happy-ish'. My biceps do piss me off though - I dont want 'flat pancake look' where the hell is the tone? I can see definition if I move my arm out a bit - but I want permanent tone - guess its a good indication I need to drop some more body fat.

For me, dropping body fat is all about not overdoing carbs. I have cut down my cardio and decreased my carbs - and am feeling so much better for it. I so do not miss the 5+ cardio sessions a week (HIIT/run whatever) and 4 weight sessions!! I know this works for some and thats awesome - but I have finally worked out that this isnt necessary for me. Sure - I may need to increase cardio at one stage - but at the moment I am losing bodyfat at a good rate by just focusing on my weight sessions and nutrition.

No dairy is also another positive move I made - particularly the cottage cheese - I mean, what the hell is in that stuff?!!!! - same with the protein powder - YUK!

Hey - I eat shit every so often still - but I took a good look at the frequency (everyday) and felt the cottage cheese and protein powder wasnt doing me any favours - particularly when I could eat protein from sources that my digestive system thanked me for (grilled chicken / lean meat etc) This way involves a little more stuffing around - cottage cheese/protein powder is very easy to prepare & consume - but the extra effort is woth it for me - I really have no choice - my crazy tummy just does not settle!

Anyway - I know I have spoken about all this before - I guess I just feel that much better from my current nutrition program - that I am pleased I was able to find alternatives that work for me - but I also know people that respond great to protein powder - which is great - but it just didnt work out for me!

What else? - my coffee grinder just shat itself - but luckily I was able to get my morning coffee out just in the nick of time - PHEW!!!

Girl weights SUCK!!

So 'sticky hot' today - I feel like I am in Bangkok! Mind you I am sitting at a desk under a blaring air-con - its so powerful that Im struggling to blink - my eyes are all dry! lol - god only knows what this is doing to my skin!!

Was very excited when I went to the country gym - which is a first because I normally have to phone Kat to give me words of encouragement just to enter....yes, it is that bad....

BUT - the BRAND SPANKING NEW GYM 'grand opening' has been confirmed as March 1 - NEXT WEEK!! YAY!

Open 7 days - all day - rather than 6-10am mon-wed and 8-10am sat (are they the shittest hours or what?!!) - remembering though that is the 'best' part of they gym...did I mention there is a creche in the middle of the weights area.....?!

So am looking forward to really intensifying my workouts...my heart skips a beat from the thought of shiny new dumbells!!!!

Talking about dumbells I almost pissed myself laughing at the gym yesterday (again, I tend to piss myself laughing about a lot of things at this gym...did I mention I see people doing lat pulldowns with their 4 year old monkey - I mean kid - sitting on their lap....?!)

ANYWAY - I was speaking to a PT at the gym and I was telling him how I was looking forward to the new equipment - he said 'oh yeah - the girls are going to love it... We have special pink girl dumbells and they will be in a different section to the 'boys' dumbells...........WTF!!!!?

And after 'pissing myself laughing in my head' I immediately thought 'you f**ing idiot.' What a stupid thing to say - let alone actually buy for a gym. Maybe they were requested by the lady members... *shudder*.

Well, old gym or new gym - my IPOD will be blarring and the only person which will exist for that hour will be me - and me using the mens weights and me lifting heavy and me getting RIPPED!!!


What 'girl' weights....!!?

kidnapped

someone gimme back kaddy!

i feel like i've been kidnapped.........

no workouts... no nutrition...but lots of SHOPPING!!!!!

yesterday was awesome, spent the entire day shopping.... somewhat depressing though as my overhanging hips proved that ive put a bit of fat on.... trying on jeans was a little depressing...but it certainly gave me the kick up the butt i needed!!!

cant wait to see my PT in a few weeks!! Im sure i will get the kick up the butt i deserve! im heading out to the farm today (dans parents) not looking forward to it...got to go through all of my stuff and i have to be ruthless about what im keeping *sigh* should be a whole lotta fun lol!

take care
xxx

have arrived

well, we went to depart for our travels on monday and discovered as we drove out the driveway our radiator had sh*t itself...grrr always the way, so here we were all food prepared (i had my squirrel containers) and we were stuck for another day! So, now we've been all week just up in the air, no work outs, BAD nutrition and i am relieved to have finally arrived. I got an awesome cuddle with my new little nephew, he's 6 months old and just absolutely ADORABLE i wanna keep him FOREVER!!

I'm currently in the process of trying to educate my mother.... she's on her second trial of DURAMINE!!!!!! this time a higher dose grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr i feel like i'm fighting an unwinnable battle!!! Anyway, will persist over the coming weeks, if i can walk the talk she might come round...

anyway just checking in, been having blog withdrawals... chat soon

kat xxxx

phone calls

oops forgot to mention.... yesterday dan goes "you must speak to Amelia like three times a day and you were on the phone for over an hour yesterday (whilst i was meant to be packing/cleaning...do you blame me lol) my phone rings about half an hour later and he goes... that'll be amelia... it wasn't... smart ass...

On my way

leaving town today... not being able to work out is doing my head in, grrr but i'll be fine, i'll just work my butt off later on in the week.

Cant wait to see my nephew only 1 sleep to go YAY. Am missing blooging, feel like an addict, dan couldnt believe i'd get up at 5 am to come check my e-mails...e-mails, csmails had to come and check blogs!

chat soon
xxx

Just thought I would let everyone know that I will 'win' abs before Kat and Dan do...*ahem*

KAT FISH

...just wanted to say 'WE HAVE BIGGER FISH TO FRY!'

Self Respect

'We cannot become what we need to be by removing what we are.'
Abraham J. Heschel, from Believe in Yourself by Mansukh Patel

Self Acceptance
In order to be at peace with ourselves, we have to learn to accept ourselves.
You can be your own best friend or your own worst enemy depending on the decisions you are making on a moment-to-moment basis.
Decide now, today, to take control of yourself and your life and to give up the notion that you are an unwilling player in someone else's film. This is your life, your film and you are the director and the producer! You can play whichever role you like - so who is going to choose the part of victim, tormented by weakness and low self-image? Everyone wants to be the hero - so decide right now to accept that role and no other.

James and the oak tree
James gazed out of the window at the great oak tree that stood watching over the valley beyond. He loved that tree because it emanated strength and continuity in a world full of changes and uncertainty. It stood like a rock, reassuring and comforting.

He thought about his life and how so many circumstances had occurred to bring him to this point now. His job had been a good one and although very stressful it had made him feel important and 'somebody'.

He had always wanted to be somebody, but now he just felt useless. Losing his job was bad enough, but he never thought Jill would leave him when the going got tough. 'I worked so hard to feel good enough as a human being,' he thought 'but now I can see it was all just a cover up for what I really feel deep inside me.'

He wondered if the oak tree ever felt inadequate. 'No, it is content being a tree, never striving to prove anything to anyone,' he thought. And what great strength it had in just being itself. He got up and walked out across the valley, sitting himself down under the tree.

Looking up into the branches, he could feel how small he was in comparison and as the pain burned through his body, he sighed.

It felt so good to stop running from that feeling. Nothing to prove any more and no one to impress. 'Perhaps now I can accept myself and find my own greatness.'


Ask yourself...
Can I honestly say I am being a best friend to myself?
Are the decisions I am making supporting my highest good? Do they take me where I want to go?
Am I eating foods that strengthen or weaken my system?
Am I working in a job I love?
Am I having enough fun?
Do I feel I deserve to be everything I want to be?

The gesture of acceptance
With the right index finger touching the left thumb, take hold of the middle, ring and little fingers of the right hand with the four remaining fingers of the left hand.
Hold the hands with the fingers pointing upwards. Hold for at least sixty to ninety seconds.


The heart hug
Imagine you are holding a tree, your arms hugging the tree at shoulder height.
Visualise the strength and power of the tree flowing into you with each in breath and filling your whole body on the out breath.
Feel yourself become like the tree, strong and powerful.
Affirm: I am strong and powerful.



Become your own best friend

A best friend is someone you can depend on for the best advice and support at the times when you most need it. A best friend wants the best for you and does not want to see you suffer or struggle with your life. He or she will make sure you do things that bring you happiness, joy and fulfilment. They will help you to make choices about a career that you love and share in your adventures and pastimes. They will not let you fall into sadness or despair, but will always lift you up and make you laugh at your life. They will make sure you eat and drink the right things that make you strong, healthy, fit and happy. Being a best friend to yourself is a symptom of self-love. You love yourself enough to do the things that make you feel good about who you are and where you are going in life...

Womens Bodies Womens Wisdom

I just bought the above named book by Dr Christiane Northrup. http://http://www.drnorthrup.com/ It's about a gazillion pages thick, it's perfect I have a 12 hour drive ahead of me on Tuesdy (ahhh yay, gonna go see my gorgeous little nephew....my hearts just about jumping outta my chest at the thought!)

Anyyyyway.... this book is just awesome!!!! I'm only into a chapter of it but it's blown me away. Basically I bought the book as I really wanted to understand the workings of my body better, I've always been so focused on how it looks but have never even considered bothering to figure out how it works! This book is basically about the way our minds, bodies and spirit all work together in the sickness and health of our bodies. dr Northrup believes that the medical world is sought of pretty cynical and doesn't allow room for alternative healing etc. Just for a way out example... she refers to patients who may have problems with one of their 'womens' organs - unique to us... and how through traditional medicine the women are misdiagnosed or not treated effectively, but with her belief system she tries to find out more and go deeper and has discovered that a lot of the illnsses actually stem from something emotional.

She makes a point of saying how women will automatically say "there is nothing more going on it's just a body thing, not an emotional/mental issue" we tend to seperate our body and minds when in factit's been medically proven our mind is connected with all of our organs... so can and does cause sickness/illness on different areas. She goes on to say once she digs deeper she will usually find a past trauma ie child abuse or infidelity or something that has caused the problem. Once the patient acknowledges it and can see where the underlying problem is stemming from she is able to heal.

I totally recommend this book to anyone whos female! It's a little holistic/medical/spiritual/health how a womans body and mind works together... ... VERY COOL!


What others thought:
“Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom is a gateway to the deepest understanding of health and well-being. Women have an innate sense of spirituality, an ability to attune to the wisdom within themselves and the larger whole that has been systematically ignored in medicine. Dr. Northrup restores the spiritual to the medical, facilitating the understanding and confidence that every woman needs in order to create a healthy body and a fulfilled life.” –Joan Borysenko, Ph.D., author of Minding the Body, Mending the Mind and A Woman's Book of Life

“A masterpiece for every woman who has an interest in her body, her mind and her soul.” –Caroline Myss, Ph.D., author of Anatomy of the Spirit

“While most male physicians seem hesitant even to use the word ‘healing,’ many women doctors —epitomized by Dr. Christiane Northrup—are demonstrating what genuine healing has always been about: the integration of the physical and the spiritual, psyche and soma, into a harmonious whole. This book demonstrates the reemergence of the feminine in healing, a force that has kept the inner pulse of healing beating for centuries. If you can't have Dr. Northrup for your doctor, read her book.” –Larry Dossey, M.D., author of Healing Words, Meaning & Medicine, and Recovering the Soul

“Dr. Chris Northrup's book is an outstanding collection of information and case histories that will benefit everyone who reads it. It lives up to the title and I certainly intend to share it with my wife and daughter. I could go on extolling its virtues, but it will do more good if everyone just takes my advice and reads it.” –Bernie Siegel, M.D., author of Love, Medicine, and Miracles

The man who inspires us..

Ralph Marston!

from his websitehttp://greatday.com/ralph/personal.html

I am 44 years old and live in Austin, Texas with my wife and two daughters, ages 10 and 6. I'm a graduate of Southern Methodist University in Dallas, Texas, with a Bachelor of Business Administration, and am a member of the Sigma Chi Fraternity.
I have always been interested in personal development, and have studied hundreds of books and tape programs over the years. I have applied many of the concepts I've learned, to my own life and business, and have developed a "real world" knowledge of what works and what doesn't. Many people are curious about my religious affiliation. I am a Christian (member of the Methodist Church). Although "The Daily Motivator" is not intended to be a religious publication, my writing is certainly influenced by Christian teachings and concepts.
Since starting The Daily Motivator more than three years ago, I've been amazed at the tremendous positive response which it has received. People from all over the world, in all walks of life, have a sincere interest in living lives of meaning, caring, dedication and fulfillment. I am extremely grateful that the technology of the Internet affords me the opportunity to share my work with so many people.
For fun, I enjoy sailing my 23-foot sailboat, swimming, bicycling, in-line skating, playing keyboard, wine tasting, and cooking/eating southwestern cuisine. The main thing I enjoy is playing with my children and watching them learn and grow. We love living in Austin, which is home to hundreds of high tech companies, a vibrant live music industry, the world's largest urban colony of bats, the best salsa (the food, not the dance) in the world, and lots of natural beauty in the surrounding hill country.
My interests include global economics, hurricanes, maps, naval and aviation history, fitness and nutrition, music, computers, photography, among others.
Since the age of 5, I've been interested in space travel. On a recent trip to Florida, I enjoyed a fascinating visit to the Kennedy Space Center, and a few days later watched a launch of the Space Shuttle Discovery.

Choose now

Just because you experienced anxiety a moment ago does not mean that you must continue to hold on to it. Choose now to let it go.
You may have recently been angry about one thing or another, yet that destructive anger does not have to continue. Choose now to transform the energy of that anger into positive, healing, productive thoughts and actions.
Whatever the past may have held, this moment can be filled with what you choose right now. Peace, acceptance, joy, forgiveness, and positive purpose are all as close as your decision to choose them.
Think of the most joyful and fulfilling times you've ever known. Allow yourself to feel the way it feels when you're at your very best.
The world is as it is, the people around you are as they are, and this moment is here. You can choose now to face it all with the best you have to give.
Life is ever filled with all kinds of possibilities, and this moment is no exception. Choose now to make the most positive of those possibilities a part of who you are.
-- Ralph Marston

SCALE the WORLD

Hi guys, cheers for comments! Sorry for absence...im on holidays officially now, so no internet at home and am avoiding work like the plague (it's an internet cafe as well as booking office for charters, so bring my notebook in to do net stuff) ... anyway, been working out in morning then cooking food for the day and don't make it in before the shop opens.... just can't deal with going in because i always have to do work!!

Scale the World is an awesome self growth program put out by John Benson. Basically it's a 32 day course where he uses the analogy of scaling a mountain , you end up with climbing buddies and releasing things you didn't know existed. Basically every day you get sent an e-mail, then you do the little assignment he sets you. It takes around 15 mins max. i'm up to day 22, but am doing it again so i can really get everything to sink in. Bella is my climbing partner.... it's pretty cool to think of yourself scaling the world, because the changes we make to ourselves has an advers effect on the rest of the world.

Day 2
Assignment.

Today, write down five things that you wish to change about the world as a
whole. Then, underneath each, ask yourself this question:

1. increasing cases of smoking related deaths
2. increasing obesity
3. amount of waste and rubbish
4. rate of depression & anxiety, stress on health care systems
5. the amount of people with financial problems

"How can scaling my world help bring about these changes in both the smallest
and greatest of ways?"
By me scaling the world I am learning new techniques to improve my own personal quality of life. I am learning ways to positively effect other people, i eat wholesome foods with minimal packaging which is decreasing the amount of rubbish, i am exercising creative a positive momentum in the unhealthy people around me which will inturn start decreasing the amount of overweight people, I also aim to educate others on this subject as my knowlege increases. This life style, decreases stress levels, tension and anxiety making the world a much happier place, if i 'walk the talk' and influence others, the over all effect is AWESOME! The more people that live this way the better! By me taking this journey i am adversley affecting others and hopefully causing them to realise that having a wonderful life is entirely possible!

My strength. On a final note I am now visualising 'fit kat'. I have a hot snorkel chick in my head, my head on her body - my new body ' quirky i know but fit kat is almost like a split personality i am using to keep me in line - i look at her then the fridge and she says 'go on if you want - but you're never going to look like me if you do"!!! ROFLMAO - it's not really that psychotic - am just visualing how i want to be to help me get there and it WORKS FOR ME!! I haven't touched a drop of alcohol all week! During the cricket finals the other night, dan says - "c'mon kaddy you have to have a beer during the finals" my response " how is me having that beer going to make this world a different place - what will change by me having one beer?!" his response..bloody good answer that is SO TRUE! and dont i know it, no amount of larger will take me away from fit kat.... im going to get abs goddammit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IKEA can kiss my REAR

Just a quick one.

I have had the SHITTEST afternoon.

All was going well in the morning until the afternoon.
I had to do a big shop at IKEA and went to pull out my 'packed lunch' but I forgot to bring it!!! So I agreed to have lunch with a friend - went to a cafe where they have a great salad - but it was off the menu (um, but of course it was!!!!) - so picked the 'best' of the 'worst' and had a spicy pattie thing with a greek salad - which gave me the worst indigestion!!!! (like burping up lit matches all afternoon) Then I raced to IKEA (wanted to be out before late afternoon) -YEAH RIGHT!!!

3.5 hours later - no mid afternoon snack - minimal water and 4 trollies of IKEA product and I honestly thought I was going to pass out/die..!!! Remember also that at IKEA noone helpes you push the trollies - so I had to leave them around the store and keep walking back for them - and then I had to unpack all the product for scanning and payment - run down to my parked car and drive it to the pick up area and then load all my car with the stuff. (yes, I said 4 TROLLIES FULL TO THE BRIM!!)

and I have FRIGHTENING PMS...

yes,....OH MY GOD....

The trolley boy asked just as I stuffed the last polyfoam cushion in my car if I wanted to take home the IKEA catalogue - instead of telling him to shove the catalogue ***** - I told him I dont want to hear the word I**A for a veerrrry long time. Poor kid.

Drove home through traffic - 1hour later I arrived.

I walked into the house and just passed out on the couch.

I woke up 1/2 hour later and ate a bowl of museli with soy milk.
Then I ate 6 pieces of chocolate.

I am now sitting here 3 hours later - getting ready for bed - and I am kinda beating myself up about todays nutrition. I just hope I burnt some serious calories in that godforsaken store - oh well, a new day tomorrow...but still need to unpack the car!!!

Day 1 - Scale The World

Bella and I are going to be "Scaling the World" together over the next 31 days. We are doing John Bensons free scale the world program http://scaletheworld.com


Day 1- Kat
5-10 things I will release over the next 32 days.

Nicotine addiction
Anxiety from nicotine and alcohol
The need to have to drink because others are
Dependancy on others - will go solo - i realise i have to do it all for me not others
Anger towards negative ex friend - Claire -
Obsessiveness with food
Negative binge habits
Complications i cause with EVERYTHING
Passed failures

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!

Dr.Evil lives in the KITCHEN during these hours!

Note to self:

DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES NO NO NO

- Enter the kitchen between 2pm - 6pm

- Enter the kitchen after 9pm

There is no place for me to be in there during those hours.

If, under extreme circumstances (george foreman left on/dishwasher flooding into lounge) I need to enter during these time, the following precautions must be taken:

- Switch off lights and 'go in blind'

- Call for backup - a friend who can steer you in the right direction

- Allow a glass of Diet Pepsi if all else fails (not really...ok..a little glass)


That is all.

3

Three is often the largest number written with as many lines as the number represents.

The three Doshas (weaknesses) and their antidotes are the basis of Ayurvedic medicine in India.

The three Gunas underlie action, in the Vedic system of knowledge. There is also the concept of Trimurti in Hindu tradition

Bella loves Bella LOL

You know I am sitting here and NEVER EVER have I felt this good.

Things that are unreal:

1. My hair is so healthy and thick
2. The whites of my eyes are WHITE
3. No gas AT ALL(thank god...)
4. No bloating - my tum is flat baby!
5. My nails are strong
6. Have lost 2kg

...and best of all I feel STRONGER - my weights are increasing every workout and I have LOST BODY FAT!!!

I love my meals, infact I prepare them 3 days in advance so they are ready to eat and I have NOOOOOOOOOO CRAVINGS!!! - if anything I get a small twinge about 4pm which I was told may be just from years of eating chocolate around that time - mid afternoon lull.

I have my organic veggie woman who picks all the produce from her little farm for me and I have just bought a truck load of biodynamic/organic meat which I will parcel up and freeze - ORGANISED VIRGO BELLA !!

For the first time food isnt controlling me and I am getting the results I want.

It just doesnt get any better - feeling like this ROCKS! It hasnt come easy (few personal demons to battle with) but I seriously feel like I am 'accepting me' and 'coming to peace' with myself...

....god I sound all mushy - but I think I am starting to like myself (whats that song?...I love myself I want you to know it...LOL...!!!! - a very strange concept for me but one I can get used to! I feel......'normal....*cough* or what I want normal to be for me anyway!! ;-)

Snip

Moving FOrward

Katarina Mikic

You've been a part of my life; forever so it would seem,

a monster in the darkness...life before you feels like a dream;

and though it feels like you own me, i know that you do not;

keeping me locked in your miserable world is just part of your evil plot.

The misery you've caused me eventually became clear;

I didn't realise how far i'd fell and that i'd become immoilised by fear.

Now I recognise you for what you really are, nothing but a

dirty, stinking rotten stick laden with nicotine,chemicals & tar

I've fought you now for so long,

I've forsaken my sanity, dignity & pride,

not to mention the friendships i've risked and

the rot you've caused on the inside.

I've slowly been moving further and further in a direction away from you,

but just keep hanging onto a final thread, although i know it's what i must to do.

So, now I have the power, the cards have turned the table,

I'm feeling so much stronger every day and know i'm totally able!

I'm on the final foothole of this mountain I have climbed,

I'm ready for the next leg and you're being left behind.

So farewell to you & your misery,

goodbye to all your lies,

I'm standing on the mountain with a life time of strength and beauty before my eyes.

Today I am letting myself be free because I deserve it and my friends and loved ones deserve me to honour the commitment I have made to them. (rae - ithis enforces the mind reader comment yet again)! :)

"Power is the faculty or capacity to act, the strength and potency to accomplish something. It is the vital energy to make choices and decisions. It also includes the capacity to overcome deeply embedded habits and to cultivate higher, more effective ones." Stephen R. Covey

"Victory is always possible for the person who refuses to stop fighting." Napoleon Hill

"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts." Winston Churchill

View From the Top

one of those days!

i didn't sleep at all last night... not even like for a minute... so am feeling kinda fragile... am always in my worsed mood when i am tired, however am FORCING MYSELF TO BE POSITIVE! i will probably close up early today and go home for a few zzzz's. i wanted to do weights but could hardly keep my eyes open.

isn't funny how bad stuff always happens when you really don't feel like dealing with it - firstly, (and i cant believe it's taken this long to do it), i was making my breakfast and poured milk in to the frying pan instead of my cutting edge egg whites :) the boxes are the same and i was still feeling sooo snoozy, thankfully i missed my mince so didn't ruin my breakfast... then i dropped dans roast lunch on my way out the door...on a positive note though...the plate didn't smash everywhere .....then i went and bought an espresso to try and wake me up and i somehow managed to slip with the cup and spill it all over myself... my new white work top is ruined.... and i laughed....because i was thinking IF THIS IS ALL YOU'VE GOT BRING IT ON! what else is there to do?? CRY?? and even if i did it wouldnt change anything - i'm alive and i am healthy.. i have no right to complain!

3

The phrase "Third time's a charm" usually means the third time a person attempts something, they will succeed.

A triangle is the most durable shape possible, the only "perfect" figure which if all endpoints have hinges will never change its shape unless the sides themselves are bent.

Cooking tips from Teresa Cutter

Substitute whole fat milk and yoghurt for
lower fat varieties

If a recipe calls for whipped cream, use
whipped low fat ricotta combined with a little vanilla, honey and skim milk
instead.

Substitute sour creams with a reduced fat
natural yoghurt or cottage cheese blended with a little skim milk and a dash of
lemon.

When making cakes and muffins use nut or
vegetable oils in place of butter, also you can also halve the fat content by
replacing half the oil with a fruit puree like apple or banana.

Use wholemeal flour instead of
white.

Use less oil when cooking food - a tsp is
all you need! Get yourself a good non-stick pan and add
a little stock or water when saut?ing
instead of fat.

When baking pies and tarts, use filo pastry
in place of puff and shortcrust. If making your own pastry substitute the butter
with olive oil or a lovely fragrant nut oil.

Buy lean cuts of meat and remove any visible
fats before cooking. Remember to also remove the skin from poultry before
eating.

When making sandwiches, use healthier
spreads in place of butter. Choose from avocado, tahini, humus, mustards,
pickles, low fat mayo.

When using cream cheese for cheesecakes, use
the lower fat varieties or choose low fat blended cottage or low fat
ricotta.

Cook potato wedges in the oven with a little
oil instead of the deep fryer.

Mince your own meat for bolognaise,
rissoles, meatloaf and lasagne. Choose lean beef topside, veal, chicken or
turkey breast.

When a recipe asks for whole eggs, use 2 egg
whites as a substitute for 1 egg. Egg whites are full of protein and contain no
fat.

By the way, i can't seem to figure out why the blogger thing won't post properly. Any ideas anyone>>??

Chocolate!

You are Dark Chocolate

http://images.yournewromance.com/whatkindofchocolateareyouquiz/dark-chocolate.jpg"> You live your life with intensity, always going full force. You push yourself (and others) to the limit... you want more than you can handle. An extreme person, you challenge and inspire the world!

What Kind of Chocolate Are You?

DIZZY

sometimes i just dont for the life of me understand how i can be such a strong, goal orientated person then turn into a bloody idiot the next.

saying that i feel dizzy is a complete understatement! Ok, now because apparently when you tell people what's going on it's supposed to help change things i will make a confession, however im sure most of you are pretty fed up of telling me the same stuff about the same issue.....grrr im grumpy with myself but mostly frustrated as i feel like i am constantly banging my head against a brick wall.

i know my goal - i have affirmations - i know what i need to do - i get the momentum happenning it builds and builds and then i do something stupid to keep me in my trap. the dumb thing is i really don't want ot be in my trap - maybe its a fear of escaping - i just don't know.

Ultimately my goal is to be living a fit and healthy lifestyle. To be a non smoker - have the body i so badly desire and be on fire. I have got to a week of not smoking dozens of times now, i dont want them, i feel good without them but i light one up - even though my mind is screaming out to STOP and to NOT DO IT! i do it anyway.... i get to my desired destination and it's like getting off the bus without shoes on on a 50 degree day... i get off, hop around madly and then jump back on the bus. Does this make sense? I've been drinking beer for the passed four days - initially i didn't want it, then i knew i shouldn't have it, then i didn't even want it but i kept going! (now my forhead is red from the consistant banging)

grrr.... it jusst doesn't seem like knowing what i want is enough... im missing something here... which link have i lost?

i've been chasing this body i want for neally a year, im starting to get sick of fighting - i know if i could give 100% discipline 100% of the time id have been there ages ago - it's just when i do the discipline thing i end up feeling like a little spring that gets so tightly wound up it just snaps and whoa the result isn't pretty.

THne i thought maybe - just maybe - i could have a bit of everything - well this to me is maintenance, but i gotta get where i want ot go to maintenance and it does't feel like im ever going to get there *cry*.... i am startic to feel like a pathetic loser...(ok, i know the negative self talk is bad, but im being totally honest!) - i know im not a pathetic loser and i am much better at getting back straight on the horse than i've ever been before, im so close at cracking it but still feel so so so far away.

Sleeping Beauty LOL

Whoah - woke up at this morning at 6am, ate breakfast and thought I would just lay on the couch for a moment...yeah right!!...I woke up again at 3pm!!!

Its now 3:30 and I feel FANTASTIC! I so needed that sleep! LOL - you think? My gorgeous man had nudged me awake and in his hand was my favourite coffee! - long black - arabica coffee - splash organic soy milk....mmmm....

So here I am feeling like a million bucks and half the day is gone! LOL - Oh well - I think I have caught up on my zzz so am ready for a great week! I may do a weights session before dinner - if not, I will get into it tomorrow morning.

I came across an eye-opening website last night. I thought I should share it - its kinda like the one I posted a while back www.milksux.com...

www.milkgonewild.com

I also have decided to stop picking at my cuticles. Just thought I would let you all know that its one of my 'bad habits' - its not as bad as it could be but I have decided NO MORE! LOL! Zig Ziglar says let everyone know what bad habits you are giving the flick - so there you go! One bad habit at a time!!!

WOOHOO!!

I went to see Grandpa again in intensive care today - and he is AWAKE!!!!!

* tears tears tears *

The doctor said it is obvious he is a real fighter. They had to tie his hands down over night as he was trying to pull all his tubes out!!

I just cant believe it - well I can - but I feel like I have been run over by a steam roller - my emotions have been all over the place - but my heart is now SO WARM! When I went in to see him he said in muffled respirator talk 'I love you' - I said he was like the 'Terminator' he tried to laugh.

Mum told him he has been in intensive care for 4 days and he had an angry look on his face and then we told him his biopsy was clear and a little tear rolled down his cheek.

This had been a life changing experience for me -

- my senses are all heightened and I know what I need to do to achieve my goals.

What I need to do over the next 22 days for my next body pics is very obvious - some of these things: TRAIN HARD, STAY POSITIVE AND LOVE LIFE!!

I couldnt have been this strong without you guys - thank you so much xxx

* BIG BEAR HUGS *

I thought this pic was spot on with what my grandpa faced over the last 4 days!!

was it easy?

Last night i ran in to a girl i hadn't seen in a bit over a year. She was like wow you look different, you've lost heaps of eight how much have you lost?? my reply "12kg's". Her very next question was "was it easy" i paused, thought for a moment i thought "my response will influence this girl" and said, anything worth achieving is never easy. The girl i was talking to is a lot overweight. It just strikes me as strange that people think it's easy. I suppose some people make it look easy, but if they only knew what it takes, how it can still be a struggle to say no to some of your favourite foods..... i dont think i will ever understand how some people just dont geddit.....

NEVER GIVE UP!

NEVER NEVER NEVER GIVE UP !

These few word are making such a huge impact on me right now.

My grandpa is still in intensive care.

He went in for a simple biopsy 3 days ago - he was to be back at home that afternoon...

...but there were complications.

He didnt wake from the anastethic - and there is water on his lungs...
...there is a great risk of infection and because of his age (82) it hasnt been looking all that positive.

BUT the biopsy tests came back yesterday - NEGATIVE for the return of throat cancer!

Even though he is completely sedated we told him over and over the good news of the biopsy results! I know he could hear us - LOUD AND CLEAR!!

This morning I visited and he moved his head...and legs...and opened an eye!!!!

He is fighting the anastethic - he is WAKING UP!!! *tears*

Fingers crossed he will be awake tomorrow morning...GO GRANDPA!! HE WILL NEVER NEVER NEVER GIVE UP! *more tears*

I can honestly say this has changed my life - the good things are SO GOOD / GREAT / FANTASTC / UNREAL! - the shit things dont even register!!

I feel like I am about to win gold at the olympics - 50km Great Wall of China marathon - I am knackered but the burning desire is TOO STRONG - we will win the race and celebrate together as we relish in victory and kiss the gold trophy - SO CLOSE NOW!! *deep breath* SO DAMN CLOSE!!!!!!!!!!

Missing What?

When i first started on my road to life long fitness i used to feel like i was missing out a lot! Well meaning friends would encourage me to have a night off it was crap.

Now, i feel as if the people that told me i was missing out are the ones who are missing out. I'm not missing a thing. They're the ones missing out on feeling ALIVE - feeling AWESOME, they're missing living life to it's fullest! Personally i would rather miss out on calorie filled food to have the life i'm living - because at the end of the day, you can still have it on occassion if you choose too, they can't just choose to feel fit and fantastic for a day then revert to their bad habits for the rest of the time. I'm so glad i chose this path instead of the other!

hello

Bella in 24 days...ahem

Day 25 and feeling alive :-)

FINALLY! It has taken me ALL morning to work out what the hell is going on with our blog - I seriously had to copy the HTML codes from another blog and carefully change our template. Yes Kat - my heart was racing thinking I may erase OUR WHOLE LIVES by simply pressing the wrong button - I felt like I was diffusing a bomb...the red wire - or the blue wire...AAAHGR!!

AAANNNNYWAY - It seems to be AOK now - let me know if it isnt and I will just SCREAM!!!!

Well - the circles under my eyes are dark and big - what an intense few days - but I am feeling positive and I had a better sleep last night. My grandpa received the results for his biopsy yesterday and there is no return of the cancer!!!! WOOHOO!! Too early to celebrate though - he is still in intensive care and his lungs are not all clear and he still has a breathing tube. This morning the doctors will attempt to remove the breathing tube....FINGERS (and toes) CROSSED!!

Did weights yesterday afternoon and I RIPPED through them!! I felt SO STRONG ! I have a new program and there are many exercises I havent done before - but I am loving using muscles I never knew existed!! I have been really focusing on my back & shoulders - and in the meantime I think I have lost some fat on my hips - dont you love that!! LOL! Have yet to do my measurements but my work pants are more comfortable - 25 days till pics - still much more to go - but I dont feel are soft and puffy anymore - reducing my carb intake has been the best thing I have dont in my latest nutrition program - that and inreasing my veggie intake!!

BLOG MAINTENANCE

Hi all - just a quick message.

Is anyone having trouble scrolling down in our blog? Kat has done something screwy and I just hope its not irreversible....

I am currently working 24/7 with the tech staff at Blogspot - but any suggestions on how to fix this incredibly - annoying - im going - to throw - the computer - through - the window - problem - LET US KNOW PLEEEASE!!

Bella & Kat x

my first blue bone 

I find it bizarre how right these things are!

***Your Birthdate: March 9***

You are a born idealist, with more pet causes than you can count.
You prefer be around others, both when working and while relaxing.
Generous and giving, you believe you can change the world one person at a time.
You're open minded and tolerant. People feel like they can tell you anything.
Your strength: Your go-with-the-flow flexibility
Your weakness: Your flair for the over dramatic
Your power color: Pine green
Your power symbol: Circle
Your power month: September

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?
http://www.blogthings.com/whatdoesyourbirthdatemeanquiz/

***You Are a Boston Creme Donut***
You have a tough exterior. No one wants to mess with you.But on the inside, you're a total pushover and completely soft.You're a traditionalist, and you don't change easily.You're likely to eat the same doughnut every morning, and pout if it's sold out.
What Donut Are You?http://www.blogthings.com/whatdonutareyouquiz/

***How You Life Your Life***
You tend to deprive yourself of things you crave, for your own good.You are always tactful and diplomatic. You let people down gently.You prefer a variety of friends and tend to change friends quickly.You tend to dream big, but you worry that your dreams aren't attainable.
How Do You Live Your Life?http://www.blogthings.com/howdoyouliveyourlifequiz/

personal trainer vs own entertainer

This post stems form some recent experiences I've had when telling people I have a personal trainer.

Generally speaking - when people ask how i have lost my weight and kept it off and i say a personal trainer - well in a sense... i did an on-line thing for about 6 months then moved on to something a bit more 'real' - by this i mean someone I can chat to over the phone. Any way, be it on-line (which is good if you're rural or can't afford a personal trainer in a gym), face to face, over the phone it doesn't matter, you're still getting the advice off people who are in the industry and have experince with helping people lose weight and feel great. Anyway, i often get a raised eyebrow - some of my 'skinny' friends - they think i'ts obsessive - and other people just seem to have the idea that only famous people have personal trainers.

My question to you is: "Would you try fixing your car if you had no idea how, or had such conflicting information you were just blatantly confused by it all and didn't know where to start or what was right for you?" I'm sure the majority of you will answer 'no'. So why then does such a huge amount of the general population feel that they should be able to lose weight on their own? For most they are venturing down the road with nothing more than a diet out of a magazine or the latest publication - maybe a diet that they got with their latest bottle of pills. It is SO simple, so SIMPLE that most of us overlook it as we by now have found the whole idea of being fit and healthy/losing weight etc retc so bloody complicated, i have news for you ITS NOT. Now i didn't say it was easy, anything worth achieving is rarely 'easy' i said it's simple. By joining up with a personal trainer you get to learn about ways your body responds to certain activities - different ways to work out - different foods that are right for you etc etc, they take the guess work out of it for you.

It is so easy to see why weight loss is such a massive industry. Everyone is so overwhelmed by all the conflicting information - the latest fad diets etc that they end up leading thewm self round in round in circles spending more time, more money on supplements, gym memberships that go unused etc etc because they don't know what's right for them and get fed up by not getting results.

In my opinion, if you invest the money in a personal trainer... upfront... you save yourself the heartache and frustration of jumping from one diet to the next, losing then regaining weight etc etc. By having a personal trainer you have someone to help you get and stay focused as well as someone that has a wealth of knowledge! You can ask them q's and get answers... you cant do that with a book! YES, they may require you to spend more money upfront, but if it's life long changes you want to make - as far as i'm concerned the only way to do that is through education & experience!

In my experience when most people begin their weight loss jouneys they want to have something 'real' something they can stick to, a plan for life.... the empty promises from diet to diet doesn't give you that. Admittadley some people are fine designing their own programs and get great results through doing the research, but they are a small minority. In no way do i mean that you stop researching or reading, because this is a part of personal growth and will help you make the right decisions, yes you will have trial and error regardless, but if you want to get serious what is wrong with taking a bit of a short cut and getting someone to help and educate you?

If you decide to go down this road "shop around" for your trainer, find someone that you feel comfortable with, someone who respects your values and is willing to help and educate you, ask them lots of questions. Figure out what it is you want, be realistic, if you're not sure what 'realistic is, ask them! that's what you're paying them for! Be ready with a list of foods you enjoy and a list of foods you hate so they have something to work off, it will probably require compromise on both sides but getting what you want often requires you to make sacrafices!

At the end of the day, personal trainer or not there is only one person that is responsible for taking care of the awesome machine we have (ok, it may not be in top condition yet, but the best thing is it will be eventually... now there's something to look forward to!) I AM, YOU ARE..! We still have to drag our butts out of bed to train or find extra motivation to stay out of the fridge somedays, the most important thing to remember is, that although it feels as if you've become you overnight, it's actually taken your whole life to get how you are! Changes aren't going to be made overnight... they will take time, patience and consistancy, providing you practicee it you will reach you goals!

Good luck

love kat

Day 26

Whoah - tired x 100 has just really hit in. Its 3:18pm and Im just about to make a coffee - Im very drained - didnt get to do weights this morning but I will try to go about 5pm. Havent been really hungry today and have just wanted to dive into a swimming pool of chocolate - but I have resisted that temptation and have stuck to my nutrition. When I focus on the things I CAN eat, thoughts of gorging myself with shit disappears pretty quickly. Ive also been REALLY thirsty today - water - pee - water - pee.

Well, went and visited my grandpa this morning and they have decided to sedate him even more - which means no response - as they are fearing an infection in his lungs...I had to sit down when the doc was talking to me - I could feel beads of sweat dripping down my back - I was drenched when I finally left intensive care. I told the doctor I dropped my grandpa off at hospital and I am waiting now to pick him up - Im angry more than anything. Angry that the biopsy should have gone smoothly but didnt. Angry that he was so fine before he went in and now there are complications with his lungs. Its shit. Damn now the water works have started.

Things are struggling to register in my mind - I feel like Im in a dream - kinda like Im floating. Im lucky my family is very close - I dont feel alone - particularly with all you sending me your vibes. Thanks guys xxx

Rae - thank you I love this poem

Grandfather's Angel Wings
Ever unfolding,
Like Angels radiant Wings,
Is the Magical love and kindness,
That a Grandfather brings.

Ever unfailing,
As the sea that beats the shore,
Is the special care given to me,
That will grow forever more.

Ever timeless,
Like a feather falling gently through the air,
Is the love of my dear Grandfather,
To which nothing can compare

Day 27 and a prayer to heaven

Things that matter most are very clear to me.

Things that do not matter are blurred into oblivion.

My grandfather has not woken from his throat cancer biopsy today.

He is in intensive care having trouble breathing.

I am trying to gather all my strength - inside and out...