Saturday, November 26, 2005

FAT CLOTHES


Hey, we all have ‘em. Admit it. I’m wearing some of mine right now, but not because I’m “fat” but because I just WANNA. I wear very loose clothing most of the time, even when I’m ripped. Then, right when you least suspect it: BAM!! Speedos. I’m an artist and we like our stark and drastic changes.

Like the combover, fat clothes aren’t fooling anyone but yourself. Wear all black and dark gray vertical stripes until the cows start to quack and you’ll still be fat when you’re neekid. Most of your friends and co-workers will just mutter things like, “Hmmm…doesn’t he/she have any fashion sense? I mean, just because he/she is FAT, I mean…” Get it? Good. Because we’re about to turn the tables on fat clothes and use them to our advantage.

You see, we all have fat clothes, and now you know (hopefully) that they suck.
Here’s the secret: most of us have fat clothes that are a size too small right about….now.

Here’s a great trick for discarding fat faster than Donald Trump discards the people on his reality tv show..

Today, go put on a pair of jeans that’s one size too small…or a half-size. Wear these all day. See how much less you crave food. Go ahead and dawn this ensemble with a trendy fat-clothes top so you don’t feel like an utter jackass. That’s okay in this exercise. No…really…GO. Now. I’m not typing another word until you….okay then.

How does it feel? Sucks, doesn’t it? Good! Wear them around for as long as you can, then slip into something more fatty later in the evening, like this wonderfully-lined and fashionable pair of Armani (read: Target) sweats I have on right now. I’m right there with you.

Then, put those pants on your bedrail, dresser, or if you’re really freakin’ cool, hang them from your ceiling and call it abstract art. Take them down in a week or two, and put them on again. Guess what? If you’re doing the 10, they’ll fit. In psychotherapy, this is called desensitization. It’s a trick I learned when overcoming panic disorder many moons ago. You see, we ‘fear’ those clothes. Really. They remind us of everything fat reminds us of:

Being uncomfortable.

What we used to be.

What we wish we were.

Take a stab and this and watch how fat clothes, unlike the combover — which serves no useful purpose other than Blog Fodder — can start serving your goals.

Oh, before I forget: be sure to keep your ‘current’ fat pants when you fit into the others, just for a few weeks or so. Then burn them. It’s fun to wear them around with a belt and feel really lean and healthy on your way to becoming truly lean and healthy. But burn them. That way going back is, at best, an expensive option. Think “Greek” here folks. They burned their ships when they landed on an island they wanted to conquer.

No retreat.

No capture.

No surrender.

Posted by Jon Benson at November 4, 2005 01:19 PM
www.10in10challenge.com

2 comments:

Sekhmet said...

Clearly time to raid the wardrobe - main problem, when getting fat I bought a lot of STRETCHY clothes :) I think this is why I didn't notice putting on 12kg!!!! Curse the invention of tracky-daks, they are evil......

Kaddy said...

lol, i was made a promise to myslef that i would never wear leggings, becaue everyone in my family is over weight and live in leggings....yuk! lol, so anyway, when i stacked on heaps of weight i too retreated to wearing trackys, i even spat it because i couldn't go out in them... nuffing else fitted! :-)