CANT GET NO SLEEP

It's 4.51am, i can't sleep because i AM so EXCITED about meeting Rae and my PT Andrew! Im going up to Perth today we are picking up our annexe for our van and Andrew is going to design a program for me to do whilst living out of my van equipped with just a fitball a set of resistant bands and some dumbells, which is all i have to work with i'm afraid as theres no gym in exmouth.

A friend of mine is a skipper and works in the bass strait on a rig, i referred her to andrew and she is THRIVING just as is everyone else i know who trains with him. Although i have been warned that up until now i haven't been squatting and should be prepared to be VERY sore afterwards. I feel so fortunate to have such an awesome trainer such as Andrew guiding me through this next stage of my fitness. I've been with him now for about 3 months, his diets are awesome and i've never known anyone to be so switched on when it comes to womens bodies and diets! No shit, the guy knows more about my own body than me! He also cares ALOT i'm sure if he didn't have to earn money from it he'd do it for free as his passion emminates, it's nice to be training with a really positive and uplifting person!On my new programs i can feel the results, i have a good diet and don't have to near on kill myself to transform my body lol.

Ok, admittadley i haven't been on track for the last few weeks, but u know what....it's not doing my head in as much as some previous programs, on previous programs i found i was OBSESSIVE and it ruled my life, i just want fitness to be a permanent fixture in my life not the be all and end all! I didn't want to be a competitor i just wanted to lead a fit and healthy life.

All this had got both Bella and I talking. By the last 6 weeks of the last program i did, i had stuck to it 100%, diet and cardio and weights, by week 6 i was looking so gaunt that my friends and partner were pulling me up asking when it was going to stop. I wasn't building muscle because i was doing WAY too much cardio and was burning it off instead of building it up, and the result was a very 'little' me, which is what i thought i wanted, but when i got there it looked wrong. This is when Bella and I started exploring other ideas and options. Over lengthy phone conversations we had realised that our bodies felt like crap and our lives had started to revolve around these programs.... which i guess is fine if you're only doing one, we were both on number 3 and didn't feel as if what we were doing fit in with our current goals and beliefs of fitness for life, hence the name of this blog, so started talking. I was blown away... i almost cried, it wasn't just me!

We both felt crap, our bodies felt crap and we both decided that being fit and healthy was supposed to make you feel great, not under nourished and lethargic. (nb. i understand that at some stages of finess levels this is normal, but what we're talking about continued for a fair while) also we felt like we were left 'high and dry' what do we do now?! We no longer had any concept of what was 'normal or healthy'.... actually we didn't to start off with and that's why we started our fitness missions in the first place! We finished more confused than when we started. annnnyyyyyyyway, thanks to an awesome friend I was put on to this great trainer who has helped me take back control of our fitness instead of letting fitness control me.

It had got to a point where everything revolved wholey and solely around what i'd eaten, i'd stopped fishing ...and anyone that knows me knows how passionate i am about that and the only time i spent with my gorgeous fiance i spent either talking about fitness or obsessing about food and that wasn't very often because he wasnt a very high priority any more becasue i felt guilty for hanging with him instead of working out ....everything revolved around these programs. I supposed i didn't even realise until i'd finished, not until i could sit back and review it all.....i supposed it was the only way to stay on such a program that was so demanding. BUt i was prepared to do it and i am still glad i've been through it as it was such an educational process, in a way i kind of know what can be done to shift a lot of weight quickly and i also now know what not to do to stay fit for life.

I've met some amazing and not so great people throughout this journey, its been a wicked ride! Bella and i are about to embark on another leg of our journey, be prepared to be blown away by a double 'progress pics' post somewhere in July. The next few months will be so exciting!! I can train, get results and feel awesome whilst transforming my body.... BRING ON JULY!