Snip

Moving FOrward

Katarina Mikic

You've been a part of my life; forever so it would seem,

a monster in the darkness...life before you feels like a dream;

and though it feels like you own me, i know that you do not;

keeping me locked in your miserable world is just part of your evil plot.

The misery you've caused me eventually became clear;

I didn't realise how far i'd fell and that i'd become immoilised by fear.

Now I recognise you for what you really are, nothing but a

dirty, stinking rotten stick laden with nicotine,chemicals & tar

I've fought you now for so long,

I've forsaken my sanity, dignity & pride,

not to mention the friendships i've risked and

the rot you've caused on the inside.

I've slowly been moving further and further in a direction away from you,

but just keep hanging onto a final thread, although i know it's what i must to do.

So, now I have the power, the cards have turned the table,

I'm feeling so much stronger every day and know i'm totally able!

I'm on the final foothole of this mountain I have climbed,

I'm ready for the next leg and you're being left behind.

So farewell to you & your misery,

goodbye to all your lies,

I'm standing on the mountain with a life time of strength and beauty before my eyes.

Today I am letting myself be free because I deserve it and my friends and loved ones deserve me to honour the commitment I have made to them. (rae - ithis enforces the mind reader comment yet again)! :)

"Power is the faculty or capacity to act, the strength and potency to accomplish something. It is the vital energy to make choices and decisions. It also includes the capacity to overcome deeply embedded habits and to cultivate higher, more effective ones." Stephen R. Covey

"Victory is always possible for the person who refuses to stop fighting." Napoleon Hill

"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts." Winston Churchill

View From the Top

one of those days!

i didn't sleep at all last night... not even like for a minute... so am feeling kinda fragile... am always in my worsed mood when i am tired, however am FORCING MYSELF TO BE POSITIVE! i will probably close up early today and go home for a few zzzz's. i wanted to do weights but could hardly keep my eyes open.

isn't funny how bad stuff always happens when you really don't feel like dealing with it - firstly, (and i cant believe it's taken this long to do it), i was making my breakfast and poured milk in to the frying pan instead of my cutting edge egg whites :) the boxes are the same and i was still feeling sooo snoozy, thankfully i missed my mince so didn't ruin my breakfast... then i dropped dans roast lunch on my way out the door...on a positive note though...the plate didn't smash everywhere .....then i went and bought an espresso to try and wake me up and i somehow managed to slip with the cup and spill it all over myself... my new white work top is ruined.... and i laughed....because i was thinking IF THIS IS ALL YOU'VE GOT BRING IT ON! what else is there to do?? CRY?? and even if i did it wouldnt change anything - i'm alive and i am healthy.. i have no right to complain!

3

The phrase "Third time's a charm" usually means the third time a person attempts something, they will succeed.

A triangle is the most durable shape possible, the only "perfect" figure which if all endpoints have hinges will never change its shape unless the sides themselves are bent.

Cooking tips from Teresa Cutter

Substitute whole fat milk and yoghurt for
lower fat varieties

If a recipe calls for whipped cream, use
whipped low fat ricotta combined with a little vanilla, honey and skim milk
instead.

Substitute sour creams with a reduced fat
natural yoghurt or cottage cheese blended with a little skim milk and a dash of
lemon.

When making cakes and muffins use nut or
vegetable oils in place of butter, also you can also halve the fat content by
replacing half the oil with a fruit puree like apple or banana.

Use wholemeal flour instead of
white.

Use less oil when cooking food - a tsp is
all you need! Get yourself a good non-stick pan and add
a little stock or water when saut?ing
instead of fat.

When baking pies and tarts, use filo pastry
in place of puff and shortcrust. If making your own pastry substitute the butter
with olive oil or a lovely fragrant nut oil.

Buy lean cuts of meat and remove any visible
fats before cooking. Remember to also remove the skin from poultry before
eating.

When making sandwiches, use healthier
spreads in place of butter. Choose from avocado, tahini, humus, mustards,
pickles, low fat mayo.

When using cream cheese for cheesecakes, use
the lower fat varieties or choose low fat blended cottage or low fat
ricotta.

Cook potato wedges in the oven with a little
oil instead of the deep fryer.

Mince your own meat for bolognaise,
rissoles, meatloaf and lasagne. Choose lean beef topside, veal, chicken or
turkey breast.

When a recipe asks for whole eggs, use 2 egg
whites as a substitute for 1 egg. Egg whites are full of protein and contain no
fat.

By the way, i can't seem to figure out why the blogger thing won't post properly. Any ideas anyone>>??

Chocolate!

You are Dark Chocolate

http://images.yournewromance.com/whatkindofchocolateareyouquiz/dark-chocolate.jpg"> You live your life with intensity, always going full force. You push yourself (and others) to the limit... you want more than you can handle. An extreme person, you challenge and inspire the world!

What Kind of Chocolate Are You?

DIZZY

sometimes i just dont for the life of me understand how i can be such a strong, goal orientated person then turn into a bloody idiot the next.

saying that i feel dizzy is a complete understatement! Ok, now because apparently when you tell people what's going on it's supposed to help change things i will make a confession, however im sure most of you are pretty fed up of telling me the same stuff about the same issue.....grrr im grumpy with myself but mostly frustrated as i feel like i am constantly banging my head against a brick wall.

i know my goal - i have affirmations - i know what i need to do - i get the momentum happenning it builds and builds and then i do something stupid to keep me in my trap. the dumb thing is i really don't want ot be in my trap - maybe its a fear of escaping - i just don't know.

Ultimately my goal is to be living a fit and healthy lifestyle. To be a non smoker - have the body i so badly desire and be on fire. I have got to a week of not smoking dozens of times now, i dont want them, i feel good without them but i light one up - even though my mind is screaming out to STOP and to NOT DO IT! i do it anyway.... i get to my desired destination and it's like getting off the bus without shoes on on a 50 degree day... i get off, hop around madly and then jump back on the bus. Does this make sense? I've been drinking beer for the passed four days - initially i didn't want it, then i knew i shouldn't have it, then i didn't even want it but i kept going! (now my forhead is red from the consistant banging)

grrr.... it jusst doesn't seem like knowing what i want is enough... im missing something here... which link have i lost?

i've been chasing this body i want for neally a year, im starting to get sick of fighting - i know if i could give 100% discipline 100% of the time id have been there ages ago - it's just when i do the discipline thing i end up feeling like a little spring that gets so tightly wound up it just snaps and whoa the result isn't pretty.

THne i thought maybe - just maybe - i could have a bit of everything - well this to me is maintenance, but i gotta get where i want ot go to maintenance and it does't feel like im ever going to get there *cry*.... i am startic to feel like a pathetic loser...(ok, i know the negative self talk is bad, but im being totally honest!) - i know im not a pathetic loser and i am much better at getting back straight on the horse than i've ever been before, im so close at cracking it but still feel so so so far away.

Sleeping Beauty LOL

Whoah - woke up at this morning at 6am, ate breakfast and thought I would just lay on the couch for a moment...yeah right!!...I woke up again at 3pm!!!

Its now 3:30 and I feel FANTASTIC! I so needed that sleep! LOL - you think? My gorgeous man had nudged me awake and in his hand was my favourite coffee! - long black - arabica coffee - splash organic soy milk....mmmm....

So here I am feeling like a million bucks and half the day is gone! LOL - Oh well - I think I have caught up on my zzz so am ready for a great week! I may do a weights session before dinner - if not, I will get into it tomorrow morning.

I came across an eye-opening website last night. I thought I should share it - its kinda like the one I posted a while back www.milksux.com...

www.milkgonewild.com

I also have decided to stop picking at my cuticles. Just thought I would let you all know that its one of my 'bad habits' - its not as bad as it could be but I have decided NO MORE! LOL! Zig Ziglar says let everyone know what bad habits you are giving the flick - so there you go! One bad habit at a time!!!

WOOHOO!!

I went to see Grandpa again in intensive care today - and he is AWAKE!!!!!

* tears tears tears *

The doctor said it is obvious he is a real fighter. They had to tie his hands down over night as he was trying to pull all his tubes out!!

I just cant believe it - well I can - but I feel like I have been run over by a steam roller - my emotions have been all over the place - but my heart is now SO WARM! When I went in to see him he said in muffled respirator talk 'I love you' - I said he was like the 'Terminator' he tried to laugh.

Mum told him he has been in intensive care for 4 days and he had an angry look on his face and then we told him his biopsy was clear and a little tear rolled down his cheek.

This had been a life changing experience for me -

- my senses are all heightened and I know what I need to do to achieve my goals.

What I need to do over the next 22 days for my next body pics is very obvious - some of these things: TRAIN HARD, STAY POSITIVE AND LOVE LIFE!!

I couldnt have been this strong without you guys - thank you so much xxx

* BIG BEAR HUGS *

I thought this pic was spot on with what my grandpa faced over the last 4 days!!

was it easy?

Last night i ran in to a girl i hadn't seen in a bit over a year. She was like wow you look different, you've lost heaps of eight how much have you lost?? my reply "12kg's". Her very next question was "was it easy" i paused, thought for a moment i thought "my response will influence this girl" and said, anything worth achieving is never easy. The girl i was talking to is a lot overweight. It just strikes me as strange that people think it's easy. I suppose some people make it look easy, but if they only knew what it takes, how it can still be a struggle to say no to some of your favourite foods..... i dont think i will ever understand how some people just dont geddit.....

NEVER GIVE UP!

NEVER NEVER NEVER GIVE UP !

These few word are making such a huge impact on me right now.

My grandpa is still in intensive care.

He went in for a simple biopsy 3 days ago - he was to be back at home that afternoon...

...but there were complications.

He didnt wake from the anastethic - and there is water on his lungs...
...there is a great risk of infection and because of his age (82) it hasnt been looking all that positive.

BUT the biopsy tests came back yesterday - NEGATIVE for the return of throat cancer!

Even though he is completely sedated we told him over and over the good news of the biopsy results! I know he could hear us - LOUD AND CLEAR!!

This morning I visited and he moved his head...and legs...and opened an eye!!!!

He is fighting the anastethic - he is WAKING UP!!! *tears*

Fingers crossed he will be awake tomorrow morning...GO GRANDPA!! HE WILL NEVER NEVER NEVER GIVE UP! *more tears*

I can honestly say this has changed my life - the good things are SO GOOD / GREAT / FANTASTC / UNREAL! - the shit things dont even register!!

I feel like I am about to win gold at the olympics - 50km Great Wall of China marathon - I am knackered but the burning desire is TOO STRONG - we will win the race and celebrate together as we relish in victory and kiss the gold trophy - SO CLOSE NOW!! *deep breath* SO DAMN CLOSE!!!!!!!!!!

Missing What?

When i first started on my road to life long fitness i used to feel like i was missing out a lot! Well meaning friends would encourage me to have a night off it was crap.

Now, i feel as if the people that told me i was missing out are the ones who are missing out. I'm not missing a thing. They're the ones missing out on feeling ALIVE - feeling AWESOME, they're missing living life to it's fullest! Personally i would rather miss out on calorie filled food to have the life i'm living - because at the end of the day, you can still have it on occassion if you choose too, they can't just choose to feel fit and fantastic for a day then revert to their bad habits for the rest of the time. I'm so glad i chose this path instead of the other!

hello

Bella in 24 days...ahem

Day 25 and feeling alive :-)

FINALLY! It has taken me ALL morning to work out what the hell is going on with our blog - I seriously had to copy the HTML codes from another blog and carefully change our template. Yes Kat - my heart was racing thinking I may erase OUR WHOLE LIVES by simply pressing the wrong button - I felt like I was diffusing a bomb...the red wire - or the blue wire...AAAHGR!!

AAANNNNYWAY - It seems to be AOK now - let me know if it isnt and I will just SCREAM!!!!

Well - the circles under my eyes are dark and big - what an intense few days - but I am feeling positive and I had a better sleep last night. My grandpa received the results for his biopsy yesterday and there is no return of the cancer!!!! WOOHOO!! Too early to celebrate though - he is still in intensive care and his lungs are not all clear and he still has a breathing tube. This morning the doctors will attempt to remove the breathing tube....FINGERS (and toes) CROSSED!!

Did weights yesterday afternoon and I RIPPED through them!! I felt SO STRONG ! I have a new program and there are many exercises I havent done before - but I am loving using muscles I never knew existed!! I have been really focusing on my back & shoulders - and in the meantime I think I have lost some fat on my hips - dont you love that!! LOL! Have yet to do my measurements but my work pants are more comfortable - 25 days till pics - still much more to go - but I dont feel are soft and puffy anymore - reducing my carb intake has been the best thing I have dont in my latest nutrition program - that and inreasing my veggie intake!!

BLOG MAINTENANCE

Hi all - just a quick message.

Is anyone having trouble scrolling down in our blog? Kat has done something screwy and I just hope its not irreversible....

I am currently working 24/7 with the tech staff at Blogspot - but any suggestions on how to fix this incredibly - annoying - im going - to throw - the computer - through - the window - problem - LET US KNOW PLEEEASE!!

Bella & Kat x

my first blue bone 

I find it bizarre how right these things are!

***Your Birthdate: March 9***

You are a born idealist, with more pet causes than you can count.
You prefer be around others, both when working and while relaxing.
Generous and giving, you believe you can change the world one person at a time.
You're open minded and tolerant. People feel like they can tell you anything.
Your strength: Your go-with-the-flow flexibility
Your weakness: Your flair for the over dramatic
Your power color: Pine green
Your power symbol: Circle
Your power month: September

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?
http://www.blogthings.com/whatdoesyourbirthdatemeanquiz/

***You Are a Boston Creme Donut***
You have a tough exterior. No one wants to mess with you.But on the inside, you're a total pushover and completely soft.You're a traditionalist, and you don't change easily.You're likely to eat the same doughnut every morning, and pout if it's sold out.
What Donut Are You?http://www.blogthings.com/whatdonutareyouquiz/

***How You Life Your Life***
You tend to deprive yourself of things you crave, for your own good.You are always tactful and diplomatic. You let people down gently.You prefer a variety of friends and tend to change friends quickly.You tend to dream big, but you worry that your dreams aren't attainable.
How Do You Live Your Life?http://www.blogthings.com/howdoyouliveyourlifequiz/

personal trainer vs own entertainer

This post stems form some recent experiences I've had when telling people I have a personal trainer.

Generally speaking - when people ask how i have lost my weight and kept it off and i say a personal trainer - well in a sense... i did an on-line thing for about 6 months then moved on to something a bit more 'real' - by this i mean someone I can chat to over the phone. Any way, be it on-line (which is good if you're rural or can't afford a personal trainer in a gym), face to face, over the phone it doesn't matter, you're still getting the advice off people who are in the industry and have experince with helping people lose weight and feel great. Anyway, i often get a raised eyebrow - some of my 'skinny' friends - they think i'ts obsessive - and other people just seem to have the idea that only famous people have personal trainers.

My question to you is: "Would you try fixing your car if you had no idea how, or had such conflicting information you were just blatantly confused by it all and didn't know where to start or what was right for you?" I'm sure the majority of you will answer 'no'. So why then does such a huge amount of the general population feel that they should be able to lose weight on their own? For most they are venturing down the road with nothing more than a diet out of a magazine or the latest publication - maybe a diet that they got with their latest bottle of pills. It is SO simple, so SIMPLE that most of us overlook it as we by now have found the whole idea of being fit and healthy/losing weight etc retc so bloody complicated, i have news for you ITS NOT. Now i didn't say it was easy, anything worth achieving is rarely 'easy' i said it's simple. By joining up with a personal trainer you get to learn about ways your body responds to certain activities - different ways to work out - different foods that are right for you etc etc, they take the guess work out of it for you.

It is so easy to see why weight loss is such a massive industry. Everyone is so overwhelmed by all the conflicting information - the latest fad diets etc that they end up leading thewm self round in round in circles spending more time, more money on supplements, gym memberships that go unused etc etc because they don't know what's right for them and get fed up by not getting results.

In my opinion, if you invest the money in a personal trainer... upfront... you save yourself the heartache and frustration of jumping from one diet to the next, losing then regaining weight etc etc. By having a personal trainer you have someone to help you get and stay focused as well as someone that has a wealth of knowledge! You can ask them q's and get answers... you cant do that with a book! YES, they may require you to spend more money upfront, but if it's life long changes you want to make - as far as i'm concerned the only way to do that is through education & experience!

In my experience when most people begin their weight loss jouneys they want to have something 'real' something they can stick to, a plan for life.... the empty promises from diet to diet doesn't give you that. Admittadley some people are fine designing their own programs and get great results through doing the research, but they are a small minority. In no way do i mean that you stop researching or reading, because this is a part of personal growth and will help you make the right decisions, yes you will have trial and error regardless, but if you want to get serious what is wrong with taking a bit of a short cut and getting someone to help and educate you?

If you decide to go down this road "shop around" for your trainer, find someone that you feel comfortable with, someone who respects your values and is willing to help and educate you, ask them lots of questions. Figure out what it is you want, be realistic, if you're not sure what 'realistic is, ask them! that's what you're paying them for! Be ready with a list of foods you enjoy and a list of foods you hate so they have something to work off, it will probably require compromise on both sides but getting what you want often requires you to make sacrafices!

At the end of the day, personal trainer or not there is only one person that is responsible for taking care of the awesome machine we have (ok, it may not be in top condition yet, but the best thing is it will be eventually... now there's something to look forward to!) I AM, YOU ARE..! We still have to drag our butts out of bed to train or find extra motivation to stay out of the fridge somedays, the most important thing to remember is, that although it feels as if you've become you overnight, it's actually taken your whole life to get how you are! Changes aren't going to be made overnight... they will take time, patience and consistancy, providing you practicee it you will reach you goals!

Good luck

love kat

Day 26

Whoah - tired x 100 has just really hit in. Its 3:18pm and Im just about to make a coffee - Im very drained - didnt get to do weights this morning but I will try to go about 5pm. Havent been really hungry today and have just wanted to dive into a swimming pool of chocolate - but I have resisted that temptation and have stuck to my nutrition. When I focus on the things I CAN eat, thoughts of gorging myself with shit disappears pretty quickly. Ive also been REALLY thirsty today - water - pee - water - pee.

Well, went and visited my grandpa this morning and they have decided to sedate him even more - which means no response - as they are fearing an infection in his lungs...I had to sit down when the doc was talking to me - I could feel beads of sweat dripping down my back - I was drenched when I finally left intensive care. I told the doctor I dropped my grandpa off at hospital and I am waiting now to pick him up - Im angry more than anything. Angry that the biopsy should have gone smoothly but didnt. Angry that he was so fine before he went in and now there are complications with his lungs. Its shit. Damn now the water works have started.

Things are struggling to register in my mind - I feel like Im in a dream - kinda like Im floating. Im lucky my family is very close - I dont feel alone - particularly with all you sending me your vibes. Thanks guys xxx

Rae - thank you I love this poem

Grandfather's Angel Wings
Ever unfolding,
Like Angels radiant Wings,
Is the Magical love and kindness,
That a Grandfather brings.

Ever unfailing,
As the sea that beats the shore,
Is the special care given to me,
That will grow forever more.

Ever timeless,
Like a feather falling gently through the air,
Is the love of my dear Grandfather,
To which nothing can compare

Day 27 and a prayer to heaven

Things that matter most are very clear to me.

Things that do not matter are blurred into oblivion.

My grandfather has not woken from his throat cancer biopsy today.

He is in intensive care having trouble breathing.

I am trying to gather all my strength - inside and out...

Day 28 and feelin' great

You know when you get butterflies in your tum so bad that your get dizzy? Well thats how I feel this morning - have been talking about our trip to Italy in August - have been doing some research - ok heaps of research - and am getting really EXCITED!!

I swear by www.tripadvisor.com - my travel bible!

A beach in Cinque Terre Italy...oh baby!

200th POST !!

WOOHOO!

200TH POST!!

Thanks to all who read our blog - cant wait to see what the next 200 will bring Kat and I - but I do have some idea:

- a six pack
- heavier weights
- great health

Its going to be an AWESOME 2006!!!

Wish this was on at the movies here!

The story of a bodybuilder who longs to be respected for his mind. Mike Zorillo, a small town Ohio champion bodybuilder with a genius IQ, journeys to the Mecca of bodybuilding, Los Angeles, determined to beat his nemesis, Jake Steel, with natural science instead of steroids. Far from home, he's confronted by a gym culture of freaks, juicers and Hollywood wannabes. As he pursues his dream, he's also persecuted by the world's largest sports nutrition company, an entity that's hell-bent on destroying him. Against all odds, the honest and driven bodybuilder resolves to win the prestigious "Mr. West Coast" competition as a way to prove himself and his ideas to the world.

www.no-pain-no-gain.com

Day 29 and feelin' fine

Well - day 29 is done and you know what it was soooo fine! Apart from being seriously tired (big days at work) and suffering from some weird tingling sensation in my left nostril which has almost driven me to the brink of madness, today was a good day...

...lifted strong at training this morning. Even though this country gym has THE SHITTEST equipment this side of the continent - I am really making some headway. I have the music PUMPING in my ipod - I even surprised myself at the volume when I took out an earphone to ask someone if they had finished with the bench - I reckon they could also hear Madonna word for word! ha!

The only thing annoying me is DB Squats - I am using 7.5kg and want to move up but my wrists start to hurt. So I am going back on Squats with a bar - which should be much better. I am also going to stop doing my abs on the swiss ball - for some reason I can feel the 'burn' 1000 times more if Im on a mat - weird.

Nutrition is going scarily well - not that scary I guess - It would be scarier if I ate like I used to - I still have NO CRAVINGS!!! I can tell I am losing fat - still a lot more to go though - but I dont feel as bloated or as 'soft and mushy' as I was after Christmas (thank f**k) I now look at the shit I used to 'crave' (any form of nut, small lollies /chocolates) and its like looking at chalk - my brain just does not register! I have to say its quite a liberating feeling. I used to clasify myself as a 'binge eater' - during the days of Atkins - low cal etc. I actually have never felt this good with my eating! I feel I have finally given the bad habits the flick - bad habits which were really self-destructive and bad habits that took me nowhere but down!!

Its almost been a year since I discovered this 'better way of living' - and over the last 12 months I have discovered so much about my health and wellbeing. Today I have so much more mental space - mental space which used to be crammed with negative self-image thoughts - what a waste of time!! It has not been easy though - a lot of tears and frustrations - my gorgeous boyfriend has been helped me throughout with not one word of discouragement - (Rae / Kat included) and I have developed MANY strategies to help me keep on track. Some may say Im obsessive (but noone I really care about) but the strategies I have put in place have worked for me and I will use them everyday - strategies which make me feel ALIVE - a feeling which I will NEVER EVER comprimise!

I HAVE A BOW

I HAVE AN ARROW

I SEE MY TARGET

BULLS EYE!!!



Never lose sight of your target

oh my goodness

I have just been to the gym...

...Bella is back !!

Where there's a will there's a way

The passed month has been an awesome month for me, it's been the wildest roller coaster ride to date, trip over pick myself up AND move a long has been the game, it's been crazy, sometimes down right frustrating but it's taught me so much.

At the beginning of the month i went through a phase where i thought maybe i should go solo... i am so relieved i didn't!!! What i have learned from my PT is awesome and the whole support net work at the gym is fantastic! Just when you think you're never gonna get back up someone reaches out a hand and helps you back up, i love it! I love the support, the knowledge EVERYTHING that i learn is just so invaluable!

I woke up this morning and didn't really feel like working out - i thought - what are my options - walk around in circles with nothing better to do for a few hours or 'dont think about it and just do it' one of my trainers mottos - im finally starting to listen to him lol - and he's right! about everything - so from now on i'll just keep it simple - eat properly and TRAIN HARD!

I went up in all of my weights which kind of sux because my DB's only go to 5 kg's- now what??? lmao- geeze the joys of travelling! On a good note though i've learned to improvise! Since i farewelled my weight bench i've been doing all different kinds of stuff with the good ol DB's, i was finding the tricep dips a bit hard though because my kitchen chairs are funny! We're heading off camping thi afternoon so our Eski's are sitting by the front door! OMG PERFECT hight!! I WAS ECSTATIC - i'll be doing step ups into my caravan, tri dips on the eski -- and i think i wasn't completely honest when i told dan i was only taking a 'few' DB's i'm actually taking my 1's, 2.5s, 3's, 4's and 5's unless my PT suggests otherwise.... i may actually be sneaking the DBs in when someones not looking!!!! ROFLMAO - we get to our destination and he'll be like where did they come from??! :) hmmm DB fairy bought them.................................................

i tihnk i might make my trip "the great australian gym crawl" initially it was going to be the great aussie pub crawl - now i think not! An inside view of the good the bad and the down right ugly! Meeels spewing their building a new gym i could have used your gym as the ugly one! ROFLMAO

im in fantastic spirits - i've come off the crazy part of my cycle - serioulsy i've just figured out that at certain times of the month i just go crazy! irrational, just lose the plot! now i know what you're thinking 'i only just worked it out' yes...that's right im a work in progress - mood swings and irratic behaviour used to be a daily thing for me - so i guess one week out of the month aint so bad!


have a fun weekend girls! talk soon

xxxx

4 WEEKS

Ok - its time to TURN UP THE HEAT!!

Its 4 weeks exactly until I take my next body pics - 4 weeks of getting leaner and stronger so those Abs show themselves, reduce body fat and just look a helluva lot better!!

I know it will go fast - but I am so focused - my nutrition and training is all sorted and NOTHING IS GONNA GET IN MY WAY!

I watched MAXS Muscle TV DVD this morning - bloody hell those guys are HA-UUUGE - but it did get me pumped - step aside Arnie....Bella is MOVING IN!!

...that denim jean instillation of mine is looking very possible...30 days to go!!

'Ideal Woman'

I typed the words:

'ideal' 'woman'

into GOOGLE...and this was the response:
Kat could you please elaborate on this...?!!!!

Herding Cats

Hi guys - strange last few days....for the first time in ages I feel....'normal...!!! Ok, not completely 'normal' (thank god...) but as normal as it gets when you feel 'fine' about everything...I guess thats not normal...ANYWAY - my nutrition and training has completely filtered itself into my wellbeing and I feel really balanced - HOW BIZARRO!!!!

I am not hungry, I am not full, I am not tired, I have increased my weights, I feel strong, I have lost some weight, I can see some definition in my abs - THINGS ARE GOOD!! And you know the only thing I have changed is I said to myself 'Im just going to stop making it so complicated' and in saying this I just 'went with it' - I know what my nutrition is, I know what my training is - so stop questioning it and just do it! And because I havent been constantly obsessing things have just worked out - WHAT A RELIEF!! I just hope I can stay this way...I am a virgo...and I do have my obsessive tendancies....My thoughts have gone from 'herding cats' (a strange but very real depiction of how my thoughts can be) to 'pass me the green tea please Mr.Yoga' - its clean, peaceful and organised in my head at the moment! COOL!

PS - Im not pregnant! thank-god-holy-shit-phew
PPS - Ms Monroe did weights...*ahem*

Feeling great

I did weights this morning - feeling a little dissapointed because i've had to startt all over again with weights - from really light all over again - i couldn't believe how light i had to go on some - felt so weak! Nevermind, i gave it my all and feel really good for it.

I've just bought this new 1/2 caff coffee - if not smoking doubles the effects of coffee than this should balance it out lol

HAPPY AUSTRALIA DAY ALL!

What it means to me to be an australian

BBQ's in summer
sprinklers on the back lawn
FREEDOM
Camping
fishing
beer
cricket
footy
lamb.... there's plenty more but i'm out of time

i am patriotic - i love our country and i love being Australian!

eek@!

my body is flipping out on me! typing is extremely hard even! I think my morning coffee caused it....speaking of coffee!

My fingers are semi numb - i have an erratic shaking in my arms and my upper body feels stiff and i have these weird heart pulpitations happenning aggghhh! now, this has happenned to me before but i always put it down to smoking - not the coffee - ANYWAY - im not smoking and the effect of coffee is apparently doubled....sheesh just dont know!

A Frappacino

You Are a Frappacino

At your best, you are: fun loving, sweet, and modern At your worst, you are: childish and over indulgent You drink coffee when: you're craving something sweet Your caffeine addiction level: low

What Kind of Coffee Are You?

yes... it's all true~ ! How bizarre... so typical of me to be that little out of the ordinary...

Know Thy Self

Know Thy Self

Lesson here is, we are all human and we all have our weaknesses. Trick is to know your weakness and develop strategies for coping with them. How well do you know yourself? That is, do you know what cues/triggers tend to set you off? Have you examined that issue for yourself? It’s essential to recognized the cues that sabotage your efforts. We all have them. Find yours and take steps to avoid them where possible.

For example, try making a list outlining the things you know tend to set you off and how you react to the, then add a column for how you could deal with it. For example you might write "talking to my crazy mother makes me anxious and I eat things I shouldn’t immediately after the phone conversation" which would be followed by a suggestion of steps to change it, such as "always eat a meal right before talking to mom" and "only take calls from mom when I am ready and able to deal with her" and "go for a walk immediately after talking to mom to distress and give me time to get over impulse to eat junk" and so on.

Develop coping strategies to your known triggers. I know for example going food shopping on an empty stomach means I will most probably end up with a large box of Cheez-its in my house. I have also found if I go shopping irritated over something I will buy more foods I don’t need as food is one of many ways we self medicate looking for some comfort. Hence the term “comfort foods,” which is commonly chocolate, ice cream, and so on.

Bottom line:

Learn what your hot buttons are that lead to a negative behavior

Learn to identify when it’s happening

Develop strategies for coping with it.

How do you go about doing that? As entire books have been written on that topic, my advice will fall short here. That journey is also highly individual. For some its working with a therapist or behavioral specialist, for some its reading a few good self-help type books, and for some its activities such as meditation, joining support groups, and others. Its also a life long journey.

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new attitude

well, i'll keep this one short and sweet and just say i feel awesome. Things are looking good for this fitkat....something really important dawned on me last night.

i finally realised that for some reason i have detatched my mental self from my physical self, i had a really traumatic child hood so am thinking thAt somewhere a long the line i removed myself from me. for example instead of saying to myself ''i will do ..." i say "you will or you can or you are....."so i've started consciously changing to I IIIIIIIII me..... i am me.... i know it sounds crazy, but it's been very empowering, i have accepted my passed and am cool with it, however i didnt realise that something so blatantly obvious was holding me back!!

u confused? i am!~ lol.... but A LOT CLEARER!!

www.bflbuddies.com

HOT!

Holy sweaty monkey ITS HOT!!
I have to say I am feeling GGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEAAAAAAAT (great) !!! I have been 100% with my nutrition and I AM NOT GOING TO LOOK BACK! I can atually feel my body turning into the machine it should be - a fat burning one. I eat every 3 hours, heaps of water, multivitamion, veggies etc. I am also eating some fruit which is AWESOME - fruit is so good this time of the year!!!

The only slight thing that is pissing me off is the country gym I am going to has REALLY OLD SHITTY EQUIPMENT!! Its making training pretty frustrating - as I am concentrating more on the thought of weights collapsing rather than perfecting my technique! grrr - but they are moving into a snazzy new leisure centre March 1 - so until then I just have to persevere!!!

I can tell my abs are getting back to the strength they were - my crunches arent as painful - and my weight kg's have increased slightly. I have deliberatley dropped back the weight anyway to really focus taking each rep slowly - so Im not fussed about not lifting as heavy as I was a few months ago.

Have been a little hungry at night - as I have dinner at 6pm - but am not in bed by 11:30pm - so I will try eating 1/2 my dinner at 6pm and the other 1/2 at 9pm - will see if it works! There is nothing worse going to bed dreaming about food - especially chocolate!!

preparing for the winter

Since showing our fridges has become somewhat of a trend i thought i would show you mine. Dan sprung me taking the pic and asked what i was doing... when i explained he cracked up! He say i look like a squirrel that's preparing to go into hibernation for the winter, when i explained taking the photo he asked if it was so i could remember what to pack next year lmao... everyones a critic i suppose.

So, i have two days worth of food (minus evening meals) and 3 breakfasts packed in there...i must admit, i'm starting to feel quite trim now.... nice and light... just how i like it! I'm feeling extremely focused - i am going out for tea tonight, but i'm not stressing like i usually do about not eating bad stuff, i'm just concentrating on my goal and envisioning me looking mighty hot in my fishing photos - i think that has a lot more impact than getting all stressed and flustered and spinning out at the restaurant table :)

Baywatch

Just a quick post to tell you all I feel like Pamela Anderson! - and its NOT because I am in Playboy mag! - but becasue my boobs are HUGE!! WTF?? I dont know why - I eat hormone free chicken thats for sure...maybe its the weather...whatever it is they are IN THE WAY!! My boyfriend doesnt think so...I told him not to get used to them...

stronger than yesterday

thank god i just made it over my latest hurdle. Feeling mentally stronger by the day, although i still have this weird viral thing going on which is making me feel weak and dizzy BIZARRE dan has the same thing so i'm taking it it's a bg of some kind and am hoping it buggers off as quickly as i got it. It makes it hard to do weights when you're strugglng to drag your legs out of bed let alone do anything else, so i have decided just to rest and recover rather than push and injure myself and am hoping to be back to full health by Monday to kick ass on my first 100% week!

I'm really feeling a lot stronger and a lot better and am now ready to kick ass. I haven't touched any alcohol since i've sworn off it and am hoping this will help me on my road to feeling better, nothing is standing in my way of having a nice lean stomache with ab outlines. After speaking with my trainer i feel about a zillion times better. He's made me believe that my goal is achievable, and also made me realise that i will only have to be 100% strict on myself until i reach my goal, then i can kick back into maintenance mode, which will be nice. So knowing that the initial sacrifice will lead me to long term happiness has really helped kick me in to gear.

You know how i said yesterday that everything happens for a reason?! Well, it's starting to look as if Dan may not get his job back (we thought it was a reasonably sure thing) so that will mean that we won't come back here to work, we'll keep pushing on up north, either way it will be exciting, coming back here though would have ensured we would head off with mega dollars, however now i'm thinking a higher being has better things install for us, suits me just fine, the sooner we get out of here the sooner i will be near a gym and than i can really make some awesome progress, oh, and the sooner i will be able to enrol in uni.... it all makes sense to me, we've gotten a bit stale here...so, yeah, i would actually be orright about not coming back... dissapointed but ok as i know that there are better things out there for us.

Ok, i'll stop my dribble. Hope everyone has a great weekend.

Inside the life of...

Ok - the pic is a little blury but here is Mr.George, Mr.Microwave and Little Miss.Scales - without these 3 guys life would be tough..


And here is the 'jeans instillation' in my bedroom (say hi to Mr.Poo Bear on the pillow) - I told you guys it was a VERY OBVIOUS visualization techique!!!LOL!

At Peace with Chocolate

Just a quick note to say I am so proud of myself! - a friend came by with a hamper for Christmas full of my favourite chocolates...(as Rae would say DUM DUM DUM DUMMMMM)

...normally I would say to myself 'its Christmas only once a year- just have the chocolate' or 'gee what a shame not to eat them' etc etc etc

BUT BUT BUT - I dont want any of the chocolates! And its NOT because Im saying 'I CANT have them' or Im not ALLOWED to have them (notice the negative words....) but instead I am fine without them and I dont need them and I dont have the cravings for the instant fix. I also know how terrible I feel once I do eat them - and this feeling alone stops me completely.

So yeah - one chocolate temptation down...:-)

MS RESERVE

so... i live in a military type town... just chatted to a lady i see running alot, she's 47 and joined the army at 40 as a reserve.

Do you think me joining the army reserve is an extreme way to get gym entry and entry via a drive to my favourite fishing spot...?? i know you're probably ROFLyourAO.... but i'm seriously considering it!!!!!!!

i think maybe i'm crazy... but signing up as a reserve sounds interesting. Please let me know if you have any experience with this....thanks!

Dammit

Ok - have to admit I ate a few things today that I really could have lived without...

Reasons:
Started work at 4:30am - ate brekkie at 6am - normally eat at 8am...
...so was HUNGRY HUNGRY HUNGRY - by 1pm - I was almost ready for dinner!!
...not good enough...

What happened:
1 rice cake with peanut butter
5 plain biscuits (those teddy bear ones without the chocolate)

Its ok - Im not going to beat myself up about it:
1. I dont normally get up that early!!!
2. Will prepare myself with more veggies if that hungry again
3. It could have been a lot worse...there were MANY naughty treats loitering in the pantry screaming 'no - eat me!!'
4. I actually didnt enjoy eating those things (biscuits & rice cake stale)

Feel better I have told you guys about all that - even though it wasnt REALLY BAD - it does make me aware rubbish that can be easily consumed - EMPTY CALORIES!!

Need to close my eyes and rub the sides of my forehead and concentrate....
...*hmmmmmmmmm* *bikinis* *hmmmmmmm* *six pack* *hmmmmmmmmm*




And even though I wasnt tagged I want to show you all my fridge!! haha!!
Mine is driving me nuts! It was here when I arrived and I have yet to buy a new one!
No shit is as high as my knee cap and really narrow - if I pull one thing out Im scared everything else will come with it!!

I have to admit...yes Rae... I am a tupperware box/obsessive label freak virgo - but I know that cant work in a fridge this size!! The most annoying thing is the poor zucchinis keep freezing as they are up the top and closest to the ice box and all my green beans keep rolling on the floor!!

FIRST WHALE SHARK TRIP FOR SEASON

DRUM ROLL.......GO KAT GO

Everything happens for a reason

Isn't it strange how sometimes things just happen - they may disrupt plans but sometimes it turns out for the better. Sometimes it may be years before you find the reason, but somehow you usually do. We had a big disrupt in the family, so now the wedding has been called off regardless... i'm relieved, even though i really wanted it, it was too overwhelming trying to sort it out given the circumstances we were to be presented with.

So it's all good! we're now thinking about just eloping... sounds good to me!

Ok... on the other side of the fence... i'm strarting to feel much clearer, i just read Bellas post and tohught 'i wish i was there' on a bright note though, i've been really trying to clarify the reasons behind me going backwards & paying out on myself, i think i have been more suprised that i let meslef slip back to my old lifestyle and have been really really mad at myself.... i know though that that's a waste of time, and am just happy that i cared enough to get back on track which i supposed is the most important thing. I;ve now put an action plan together for times when i think i might go into default and have a little signal for Dan so he knows i need extra support, i feel like a silly little kid, but anything that helps is goood.

Other than that, for some reason i'd forgotten one of the most important rules, to not think about what you don't want and to concentrate on what you do want... so i'm back on track with nutrition, got meals for today and tomorrow prepared, i haven't done anything physical as i've been feeling ill - i think due to stress, but i feel a lot clearer today and am confident for the remainder of the week. Even if i only get a couple of weight sessions in, it's still better than nothing.

I feel like a complete idiot, but i'm about to write out my list of achievements so far to make me feel better... i feel better just thinking about writing them out, then i'm going to add that i got over this latest hurdle.... coming back on track from how i felt is extremely satisfying, i'm just so thankful i have dedicated friends who've helped me.

cheers grrrrrls!

Its been a good few days!

The days are sooo warm - cant believe its 42C this Sunday - OH MY GOD! Looks like 6am training all this week to beat the heat - and then back to work infront of the aircon!! My body is really getting into 'fat burning mode' or so I hope - Im not as bloated and I am really hungry right before my meal but at no other time and I have no sugar cravings whatsoever - which means my nutrition is on track and all my body has to do is 'burn baby burn'!!

The 'visualization' is really helping...as are the jeans hanging from the ceiling...

I am loving my meals - the only 'sauce' I use is diced tomatoes from a tin to add flavour to my meat and maybe a small shake of my Herbamare. I have also had a couple of really strong weight sessions this week - slowed down my reps and focusing on my techique - Im working hard on my shoulders - I keep stretching to ease the DOMS!

I have given myself 6weeks till I take pics of my body again - Feb27 will be the day! Strangely Im not dreading it - actually Im excited!! great!

Found this on a bodybuilding site: What is needed for success:

1) Commitment
Commitment is the first success factor. It is important to decide what you want and commit to settling for nothing less. During this phase, you must visualize a picture of how "YOU" want to look. Don't concern yourself with how everyone else looks. This will strengthen your commitment.

2) Positive Energy
Positive Energy is the second success factor. After committing yourself to being your best – you have to actually believe you CAN be your best. You needed to surround yourself with positive energy. This means, if you have a workout partner with different goals, find a new workout partner or do as much as possible on your own. You cannot afford to allow anything to deter you.
I have removed myself of many workout partners who use the gym as a social Mecca, or don't come to the gym when it rains or snows, or complains during hard workout sessions. They have all continued to remain my friends and fortunately were able to realize how much it means to have positive energy. You must also realize that there will be plenty of negative energy trying to counter-act your positive surroundings.
Many people who can't commit will be envious and sometimes even jealous. I affectionately call these people "haters". They will see you progress and will be envious or jealous of you. To make them feel better they will try to inject their negative energy into your positive surroundings.

3) Determination
Determination is another of my key success factors. Determination is what made me do that "one last rep" when my body wanted to "quit". It is what kept me at the gym to do abdominal and cardio-vascular work when I was ready to go home. It is what kept me competing when I didn't place where I wanted.

4) Dedication
Your dedication is a prime factor. What I mean by this is that dedication is what will make you head to the gym when your friends are heading to "happy hour". It will make you eat the "proper meal" and stick to your diet instead of grabbing a more convenient burger at McDonalds. With dedication you can realize success in any field of human endeavor.

NOT COOL

Bikini Babe...

1. These pics I found last week
2. These pics are on my bedroom wall
3. These pics are saved on my computer screensaver
4. These pics are saved on my mobile

...these pics show what my body is going to look like in only a few months...

I also have a pair of black jeans hanging from the light fitting in my bedroom (like a piece of weird abstract art!!)...
1. yes theyre in the way -
2. yes I try them on daily -
3. yes I will fit into them in only a few months...

1. I see myself with this body already
2. I see myself relaxing on a beach
3. I see myself being confident in bikinis
4. I see myself with blonde hair (ha- thats the easy bit...already have blonde hair...!!)

I am prepared, organised and focused on my nutrition and exercise...
...I know life can be unpredictable...
...but life its full of surprises...some good some bad - but I guess thats what keeps the heart pumping!!

On my way...

You know how there are times when you just know you are being tested? Well i feel as if i've been failing dismally. However, i've gotten really mad at myself now... so am focusing on my warrior attitude to pull me through, something about "success is vary rarely convenient" . My biggest problem of late has been the alcohol again... so my plan of action is to start associating with other people who don't like drinking. This Sat night we have a staff dinner, one of the other girls is detoxing so won't be drinking so we made a pact to do it together... now i'm accountable to someone else and feel as if i have some support.

Now i'm going to be brutally honest, i have to be, even if it hurts, i know i can't blame anyone else for my actions, but i will say that for the last few months i have felt that my boyfriend has been like having an anchor on my feet, he loves me and hes been verbally supportive, i just don't think i've been honest enough with him. I need to sit down and have a huge D & M and let him know how i feel, because, me being me always seems so strong with everything, i have to acknowledge that the poor guy isn't a mind reader.... if i wasn't strong enough to be honest to let him know i was having a hard time than how could i expect him to be supportive?? But the biggest thing now, is me getting my shit together... walk the talk, you hearin' me??!!
Move away from all the crap that is bringing me down. I've been trying to pick myself up. I haven't tried everything yet though... so i'll keep trying. I just feel as if i've totally been self sabbotaging myself for the last couple of weeks. I think im calling off getting married, there's too much going on, packing up all of our world possessions, packing myself in to a little caravan then trekking back off up here...aghhh... i've felt like i've been drowning - but today I feel as if i've just washed up on the beach - worse for wear but better for the experience.

time or kaddy to get tuff and kick butt....i just have to get my mind back to where it needs to be to focus on this fight... i'm going home to do lots of positive reading!

Definately a fish...

The FishesFebuary 20 to March 20
TraditionalPisces TraitsImaginative and sensitiveCompassionate and kindSelfless and unworldlyIntuitive and sympathetic
On the dark side....
Escapist and idealisticSecretive and vagueWeak-willed and easily led